You said “I will”
You said “I promise”
You said you’d try your best.
And as those words came through your lips,
I smiled a sad smile –
I knew how rarely promises were kept,
I knew I didn’t like them for that reason.
And these promises weren’t even about big, important things.
They were little, ordinary assurances
You broke them and honey I believe in signs –
No, I’m not angry, but my trust in your words has sunk a little further.
Perhaps this is me overreacting.
Perhaps you are incapable of keeping your word.
Promises, promises, promises –
Please don’t make them, and save everyone the hurt.
I don’t like reflecting on my days, weeks, or years. I have realized that the reason I dislike reminiscing is because I remember so little. This realization makes me sad, because I know I have had such wonderful experiences, I have met extraordinary people, and I have made memories with family and friends. I am filled with great sorrow – as I cannot seem to remember so many things that have filled my days, my life, my heart. The good and the bad both disappear from my memory. I sit and I wonder, but I remain clueless.
Lost. That’s how I feel. I feel like life has tricked me into happiness and tricked me into anguish, but has not granted my brain the permission to access the memories.
I feel like time has left me with the recollection of experienced emotions, but has deprived me of any sort of context.
This involuntary dismissal of the past has taught me a very important lesson:
All success and all failure is temporary.
All joy and all sorrow is passing.
Time is finite and opportunity is limitless.
So do what you need to do and do it for you,
And later, when you cannot recall exactly what happened,
You’ll know that you were truly happy.
I asked you to come back,
You asked me to come back.
I came back
And that’s when I realized that you never left.
My world lies to me – it seeks to convince me that you’re gone and busy.
But in the silence, in my despair
You reach out to me, you whisper in my ear:
I’m here, I’m there, I’m wherever you are –
My love never leaves you,
I’m here, love.
I’ll always be here.
Life is beautifully chaotic.
Nobody really knows what they’re doing.
But we’re living.
Time is flying.
Do what you love.
Because time is not infinite.
Love what you do.
Because this life is all we’ve got.
Everyday routine consumes my energy-
I learn, I live, I make mistakes
“I’m striving towards something greater” I say,
But uncertainty fills my mind and my plans begin to shake.
And I don’t know if you know that I miss you.
I miss my summer visits, when we’d eat brunch just you and I.
I miss our late night conversations, over milk and pie.
I miss you laughing at my fear of bugs and spiders.
I miss your stupid dog – you know, the one who would growl and show me his perfect teeth.
I miss you teaching me to ride your horse.
I miss the way you hid my bike so nobody else would take it.
I miss your big, calloused hands waving in the air telling me stories of the past.
I miss your radiant smile, and how your blue blue eyes shined when you spoke.
I miss the way you said goodbye – so kind, so gentle, so quiet, yet so full of love.
If anybody has taught me what it is to love, without having to say “I love you,” it was you.
We all felt so much love, even through the distance.
We all felt important, exciting, intelligent, and good enough in that house you built,
We all feel blessed, to have had such an amazing, strong, brave, and wise man in our lives.
Thank you, Grandpa, for making my life better
Thank you for teaching me to seek happiness, even when life is bitter.
I miss you, Grandpa. You were and always will be my hero. <3
Rest in peace.