Peaceful sunsets

I’m constantly surrounded by people, and this tends to inhibit my ability to think clearly about things I want to think about. So, today, I had dinner with myself.

I sat in the balcony with my favorite Italian pasta dish from a small restaurant down the street.
I faced San Francisco and the setting sun.
The beauty of it all overwhelmed me.
It was chilly and bright and quiet –
The cool wind kept me company and drew me back to reality every time my mind drifted too far.

And I liked it.
I realized that lately I have become so critical of myself.
I have let failures fracture my self-esteem and confidence.
I have let stressful situations and insecurities break my convictions in the beauties of life.

My little date with myself and my thoughts made me love myself more.
It made me sure of who I am and what I want to do.
It made me forgive myself and others –
It gave me the opportunity to fall in love with my life again.

Life is not easy. I think we all learn that very quickly in the process of growing up.
But oh my God, it is so beautiful –
And I’ve spent too long doubting, criticizing,  over-analyzing everything.

I’m at peace – with the world, with my struggles, with the hurdles I must jump to get to where I need to be.
I’m giving everything I care for one hundred percent of my effort, 
But I’m setting higher standards for the way I treat myself.

03072012

Spring 2011.

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3 responses to “Peaceful sunsets

  • Nate Shenk

    I am far too hard on myself as well :/. Growing up, I had 6 siblings so I never got to be alone and let me tell you I am now throughly enjoying my amazing moments to myself. Glad you got to “get away” from everyone for a bit. We all need it sometimes. :]

  • Julia Derkach (@jewelyjules)

    1) I love that you are aware of the need for solitude and introspection – it is a reminder to be that we are of a kindred spirit.
    2) I admire you so much for your ever constant desire, and effort, to forgive and build up others, and to love yourself.
    3) That Roderick Thorp could not be more true.

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