Freedom isn’t about being reckless or heartless.
Freedom is letting go of everything that weighs heavy on your soul.
Freedom is opening your eyes to new experiences and ways of knowing.
Freedom is about not allowing failure or struggle to discourage you.
Freedom is being comfortable with your own thoughts, with your actions, with you.
Freedom is the ability to find happiness in a broken world.
Less than two weeks ago, I took my final exams for the semester. I cannot believe how fast time seems to run, and how much I have learned this year. During the exam season, I tend to become overly stressed out and full of self-doubt. It’s a really bad habit, but a high-stress environment messes with my brain. So I went home. I went home, I sat in my swimsuit in my backyard, I let the sun warm my skin and homemade iced tea lemonade to quench my thirst, and I filled every empty pocket in my brain with calculus, economics, and legal history. It sounds kind of awful, doesn’t it? But I had so much fun with my books, calculator, and computer. My family was there to encourage me, and this encouraging and nurturing environment enabled me to build up the little self-confidence I had.
I aced those finals. I saw my grades at one o’clock in the morning last week and squealed with joy, in a car with two of my best friends. I still cannot believe that all that work paid off.
A little confidence can really go a long way.
After my finals, I went back to my hometown for a week. I spent days in the sun with people I love. I ate yummy food. I sat amazed at how good it felt to just be alive.
Happiness consists of being fully alive.
I am currently back at my studies. It will be a difficult six weeks, but I am looking forward to continuing my summer vacation in July.
I apologize for the delay in my blogging. I felt that it would be slightly hypocritical to write about happiness at a time in which happiness seemed to be completely out of my grasp. But it wasn’t. Happiness was always right there, I was just too afraid of failure to embrace it.
I resolve to have a little faith in myself, and a whole lot of faith in God.