I have so much to say, but no ears want to listen.
I think about things that will break your heart.
I scribble in my notebook, but I feel no peace.
I have felt better, I have loved and been loved better.
I have been worth more.
My heart has slightly cracked, but it’s a new kind of sadness.
The kind that twists my brain in knots and covers my skin in goosebumps.
But from this pain I know: I am not broken.
I am not the first nor the last to be lied to.
I am not the only human being that has been disappointed by someone dear to me.
I am not the only girl who has lost trust in something once so beautiful, something I once held very close to my heart.
But from this pain I have learned a lesson.
No: I will not harden my feelings, I will neither refuse to love nor trust.
I will always and forever favor burdensome truth over ignorance and lies.
I will not hate or injure or retaliate.
I will forgive.
Or rather, I will learn to forgive.
I am taking this as a life lesson on patience and love and kindness and forgiveness.
I cannot forget, but I refuse to let this one moment redefine someone I once treasured.
And from all of this I have learned the following lessons for myself and my relationships:
Do not disappoint and disrespect those who value your presence in their life.
Constantly forgive, but also realize when your forgiveness has been taken for granted…and if it has – still forgive, but walk away.
Allow your heart and mind to reach a compromise – following only one or the other is never a bright idea.
Do not ever allow this world and its people to make your heart cold, your temper hot, your walls high.
Love, always love. Regardless.