Tag Archives: moving forward

New Year, Old Me.

People don’t change once a new calendar is hung.

People don’t become better because they say they will tomorrow, next week, next month, later in the year…

Change occurs when our desire for change overcomes our addiction to old behavior and attitude.

We become better when we strive to be better – mentally, physically, and emotionally.

This New Year inspires many to make “resolutions,” but may our resolutions be deeper than just hopes: may these resolutions become every day goals and motivations.

Here’s to a new year, and the same old me becoming the person I was meant to be.

New year, old me, following my dreams.

 

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Among the clouds.

Fog invades the bay –
The world is suddenly covered in a cloud,
The world becomes so small, known, and cold.

My fingers are numb,
The cold stings my face,
Little droplets of mist tickle my nose.

Fog, a cold breeze, a bright sun –
It’s winter in California.
What I would do if I could spend it with you and your warm laughter.


Confessions of an Ex-Best Friend. (Forgiveness)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010.
Confessions of an Ex-Best friend (a letter to a former friend of nine years)

Young, restless, free.
Running, spinning, safe
From boredom and tears
But not loss. – Me.

I ask few questions,
But many lies flood my ears in return.

Deceived, betrayed
You’re only hurting yourself, you think,
But look how you’ve pushed me
Away from your life,
And your actions have pulled you away from mine.

At least I remember the girl I once knew,
Who stole my likes and dislikes,
But who was never a fool.

Never expect people to stay the same. Don’t judge them for changing…

But you didn’t change for yourself,

You changed for attention and drama and problems
And for something to do.
Potential, brains, love, friends, family – all remained
Yet it wasn’t enough, it’s never enough for you

Is it?

“Honestly, I’m almost done” remember that line?
Done what? You never said anything about starting,
And now you race to the finish with your pupils dilated
And your body too thin, and the smell the smell the smell,
Hands shaking, answering calls, running around
Always late, never time to breathe, never a time to care about others
Friendship is a two way deal, and ours is a lost cause

I tried, you lied, I tried, you lied, I quit.

There’s no sugar coating it, I deserved a better friend

And you deserved my trying and attempts to help.
You got what you deserved,
But you tossed it aside in your “busy” life
Full of emptiness and fear.

I’m gone, going out to wander, and to let who I deserve find me.
Life is too short to stick around and be walked all over.

Life is too beautiful to surround oneself with people who cannot appreciate its natural highs and lows and colors and situations.
Life is too precious to spend it running and not caring about those who matter.

Life is life, and I’m planning on living it the way I’ve never even dreamed of living it.

And if by any chance you want to be a part of this beautiful mess called my life

There is room for you in my heart still, there will always be room for you.  But I have higher expectations than I did when I was nine.



Reminiscing, but no wishing.

And when I look back and remember all of the people who used to be a huge part of my life, I smile. Not because those were perfect times or amazing friends, but because we learned, grew up, and moved on. I don’t miss anything. They’re nice thoughts, but the people currently in my life are definitely blessings.


Because Life is the Real Thing

Because life is the real thing.
And running away is hitting rock bottom.
Because there is no such thing as turning back.
And there’s only one way – and it’s moving forward.

A mistake made.
A lesson learned.
And one heart’s pieces glued back together.
So yes, everything happens for a reason.
And no, you may never know why.