Tag Archives: reason

Words Behind Bars

There is so much to say,
But so little silence.
So many thoughts –
But sleep creeps in, and then they are lost
Lost, lost, lost forever in dreamland.

Every confusion, every mistake –
Speaks and never ceases to attack
The helpless mind, that has no alternative but to call it a day,
Admits defeat, but refuses to quit trying…
Tomorrow, tomorrow:  thoughts will be free.

But there is no time to let one’s mind wander.
And there is so little courage to grant freedom to words.
Everyday, tedious tasks occupy ninety-nine percent of our thinking faculties,
Everyday, our own judgmental inclinations seal our lips and freeze our tongues-
Yet we continue to justify our silence to ourselves,  claiming it arises out of fear of criticism from others.

Thus, words remain behind bars.
Thoughts remain in compartments in our hearts.
They are factors in our decision-making processes, our value judgments, our emotions.
They define our perception of the world, yet they are buried, hidden, obscure, personal.
They define our relationships with others, ourselves, our surroundings.
So powerful, so secret, but yet so universal.

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Among the clouds.

Fog invades the bay –
The world is suddenly covered in a cloud,
The world becomes so small, known, and cold.

My fingers are numb,
The cold stings my face,
Little droplets of mist tickle my nose.

Fog, a cold breeze, a bright sun –
It’s winter in California.
What I would do if I could spend it with you and your warm laughter.


Don’t go.

I’m fairly certain you will leave.

My brain has convinced me that I don’t have what it takes to make you stay.

It has made me believe that one day, you’ll wake up and realize that I am not worth it: not worth your time, your effort, your love.
You’ll walk away, you won’t look back, you’ll find happiness.

I don’t know why I am certain of this.
You have done absolutely nothing to make me believe the things that my brain has made me believe.
You have been so kind, understanding, and patient.

That’s why I keep saying, “I’m scared.”
It irritates you, every single time.
And for good reason.

But I am scared.
I am scared that I will lose you.

I’m sorry for being insecure and doubtful.
I can’t help it, I really can’t.
If you only knew what goes on in my head before I go to sleep…
I’m just scared.
I pray that you stay.


Reminiscing, but no wishing.

And when I look back and remember all of the people who used to be a huge part of my life, I smile. Not because those were perfect times or amazing friends, but because we learned, grew up, and moved on. I don’t miss anything. They’re nice thoughts, but the people currently in my life are definitely blessings.


Because Life is the Real Thing

Because life is the real thing.
And running away is hitting rock bottom.
Because there is no such thing as turning back.
And there’s only one way – and it’s moving forward.

A mistake made.
A lesson learned.
And one heart’s pieces glued back together.
So yes, everything happens for a reason.
And no, you may never know why.