Fill your life with people who are positive and driven. Surround yourself with those who are honest, intelligent, and bring happiness into your life. Too many times, it’s our failing relationships that put unnecessary stress and frustration into our lives. If a remedy is impossible, maybe it means that it’s time to walk away
Less than two weeks ago, I took my final exams for the semester. I cannot believe how fast time seems to run, and how much I have learned this year. During the exam season, I tend to become overly stressed out and full of self-doubt. It’s a really bad habit, but a high-stress environment messes with my brain. So I went home. I went home, I sat in my swimsuit in my backyard, I let the sun warm my skin and homemade iced tea lemonade to quench my thirst, and I filled every empty pocket in my brain with calculus, economics, and legal history. It sounds kind of awful, doesn’t it? But I had so much fun with my books, calculator, and computer. My family was there to encourage me, and this encouraging and nurturing environment enabled me to build up the little self-confidence I had.
I aced those finals. I saw my grades at one o’clock in the morning last week and squealed with joy, in a car with two of my best friends. I still cannot believe that all that work paid off.
A little confidence can really go a long way.
After my finals, I went back to my hometown for a week. I spent days in the sun with people I love. I ate yummy food. I sat amazed at how good it felt to just be alive.
Happiness consists of being fully alive.
I am currently back at my studies. It will be a difficult six weeks, but I am looking forward to continuing my summer vacation in July.
I apologize for the delay in my blogging. I felt that it would be slightly hypocritical to write about happiness at a time in which happiness seemed to be completely out of my grasp. But it wasn’t. Happiness was always right there, I was just too afraid of failure to embrace it.
I resolve to have a little faith in myself, and a whole lot of faith in God.
I want to love life. And I mean really love life. The kind of love where I want to skip in the morning when I’m barely awake, stay up as late as I can laughing, enjoy every single day just because it exists. The kind of love where I want to shower the world in hugs and kisses.
I just want to really love life. I want to be happy and joyful and hopeful. I want to believe that my best is good enough. I want to make others believe that they are more than good enough. I want to be the kind of person I sometimes mistakenly think I am. I want to be certain that the trivial things don’t matter. I want to approach challenges with a curious, unafraid, confident mind.
I want my heart to be open, my life to be full.
I want to love life, and I want it to love me back, too.
I’m constantly surrounded by people, and this tends to inhibit my ability to think clearly about things I want to think about. So, today, I had dinner with myself.
I sat in the balcony with my favorite Italian pasta dish from a small restaurant down the street.
I faced San Francisco and the setting sun.
The beauty of it all overwhelmed me.
It was chilly and bright and quiet –
The cool wind kept me company and drew me back to reality every time my mind drifted too far.
And I liked it.
I realized that lately I have become so critical of myself.
I have let failures fracture my self-esteem and confidence.
I have let stressful situations and insecurities break my convictions in the beauties of life.
My little date with myself and my thoughts made me love myself more.
It made me sure of who I am and what I want to do.
It made me forgive myself and others –
It gave me the opportunity to fall in love with my life again.
Life is not easy. I think we all learn that very quickly in the process of growing up.
But oh my God, it is so beautiful –
And I’ve spent too long doubting, criticizing, over-analyzing everything.
I’m at peace – with the world, with my struggles, with the hurdles I must jump to get to where I need to be.
I’m giving everything I care for one hundred percent of my effort,
But I’m setting higher standards for the way I treat myself.
I have so much to say, but no ears want to listen.
I think about things that will break your heart.
I scribble in my notebook, but I feel no peace.
I have felt better, I have loved and been loved better.
I have been worth more.
Missing conversations with my best friends.
Sitting in a room that is vibrating with stress:
Individuals biting their nails, pulling at their hair, forcing their sleepy eyes to remain open…
Hoping for time to freeze, if only for a second, a minute, an hour, a day, or forever.
But the clock bell tower rings promptly every hour.
Time goes on and on and on.
The only thing to do is accept reality: Life doesn’t wait for anybody.
Things happen whether we’re ready for them, or not.
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life — It goes on.” – Robert Frost
Life doesn’t have to treat you kindly.
You have to be strong during the stresses, the storms it sends your ways.
Life doesn’t have to be convenient,
You have to be prepared for the good, the bad, the impossible.
Life doesn’t have to follow your plans,
You have to stick to your dreams, regardless of temporary detours.
Life just doesn’t have to be fair, and let’s face it, it really isn’t fair:
But it’s so very beautiful, if you choose happiness.