Tag Archives: sun

Personal Update

Less than two weeks ago, I took my final exams for the semester. I cannot believe how fast time seems to run, and how much I have learned this year. During the exam season, I tend to become overly stressed out and full of self-doubt. It’s a really bad habit, but a high-stress environment messes with my brain. So I went home. I went home, I sat in my swimsuit in my backyard, I let the sun warm my skin and homemade iced tea lemonade to quench my thirst, and I filled every empty pocket in my brain with calculus, economics, and legal history. It sounds kind of awful, doesn’t it? But I had so much fun with my books, calculator, and computer. My family was there to encourage me, and this encouraging and nurturing environment enabled me to build up the little self-confidence I had.

I aced those finals. I saw my grades at one o’clock in the morning last week and squealed with joy, in a car with two of my best friends. I still cannot believe that all that work paid off.

A little confidence can really go a long way.

After my finals, I went back to my hometown for a week. I spent days in the sun with people I love. I ate yummy food. I sat amazed at how good it felt to just be alive.

Happiness consists of being fully alive.

I am currently back at my studies. It will be a difficult six weeks, but I am looking forward to continuing my summer vacation in July.

I apologize for the delay in my blogging. I felt that it would be slightly hypocritical to write about happiness at a time in which happiness seemed to be completely out of my grasp. But it wasn’t. Happiness was always right there, I was just too afraid of failure to embrace it.

I resolve to have a little faith in myself, and a whole lot of faith in God. 

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Peaceful sunsets

I’m constantly surrounded by people, and this tends to inhibit my ability to think clearly about things I want to think about. So, today, I had dinner with myself.

I sat in the balcony with my favorite Italian pasta dish from a small restaurant down the street.
I faced San Francisco and the setting sun.
The beauty of it all overwhelmed me.
It was chilly and bright and quiet –
The cool wind kept me company and drew me back to reality every time my mind drifted too far.

And I liked it.
I realized that lately I have become so critical of myself.
I have let failures fracture my self-esteem and confidence.
I have let stressful situations and insecurities break my convictions in the beauties of life.

My little date with myself and my thoughts made me love myself more.
It made me sure of who I am and what I want to do.
It made me forgive myself and others –
It gave me the opportunity to fall in love with my life again.

Life is not easy. I think we all learn that very quickly in the process of growing up.
But oh my God, it is so beautiful –
And I’ve spent too long doubting, criticizing,  over-analyzing everything.

I’m at peace – with the world, with my struggles, with the hurdles I must jump to get to where I need to be.
I’m giving everything I care for one hundred percent of my effort, 
But I’m setting higher standards for the way I treat myself.

03072012

Spring 2011.


Why daisies are my favorite

Daisies on a rainy day.

They smell like honey and happiness. 

They are sunshine on a foggy, rainy day.


Among the clouds.

Fog invades the bay –
The world is suddenly covered in a cloud,
The world becomes so small, known, and cold.

My fingers are numb,
The cold stings my face,
Little droplets of mist tickle my nose.

Fog, a cold breeze, a bright sun –
It’s winter in California.
What I would do if I could spend it with you and your warm laughter.


This afternoon, I am inspired by this quote:

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all: I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

– Anna Quinlan