Tag Archives: thankful

11242012 – The Storm

Thundering laughter,

Always a smile before the storm.

At ease, at peace, together.

pure bliss.

Thank God we did not know, that it would soon end

and we’d spend the rest of our lives

Longing, missing, reminiscing.

Living through a different storm

consisting of your absence.

No thunder, no lighting,

Just rain.


Being Thankful for the Good, the Bad, and Everything in Between.

I am thankful.

My life thus far has not been perfect, but it has been beautiful.

I have been hurt by those dearest to me, I have been lied to by those whom I trusted with my life, I have been betrayed by those who swore to be there for me even if the world came crashing down.
I have been hurt.

I lost my hero to cancer, I lost a cousin to bad choices,
I lost a piece of my heart when they left this earth.
I have lost.

I believed that my best was not good enough, I have felt like an absolute failure, I have failed, I broke a heart, I made choices I later regretted.
I have cried.

But through the hurt, the loss, the tears I was given strength, wisdom, and a second chance (sometimes a third, a fourth, and so on…)
I learned that the fabric of trust is something that can be stitched together- and sometimes, the stitching  holds it together better than before it was torn.
But stitching it up – that’s work, patience, forgiveness, and humility.
I learned to value and love people when they are present, because people’s presence is more temporary than we want to believe.
I have learned to believe in myself, because God believes in me. He made me the way I am for a purpose, and my constant self-criticism was actually dishonoring Him.
I learned to be honest with myself and others – I learned to acknowledge my flaws, and battle them with prayer, support, and a positive attitude.

I am thankful – that God teaches me valuable life lessons through difficult situations.
He opens my eyes to the world as it is, rather than to the world I perceive it to be in my sheltered, every day life.
I am thankful, because I have been blessed beyond measure – with everything I could possibly need and so much more.
I have been blessed with a beautiful family and friends, who support me always – financially, spiritually, and mentally, whether I need the support or not.
I am grateful to a God who gives me wisdom when I ask for it and even when I don’t, who guides me in times of struggle, who offers me comfort in times of despair, who loves me – always.

By no means am I suggesting that I am always this grateful. I sometimes scream into my pillow out of frustration. I go on long runs when I am confused. I yell when I am angry. I say hurtful things to those who love me so very much when I am disappointed.
But all of this wears out my body and my soul – it makes me lose sleep, my appetite, and my enthusiasm to live every day as if it were a gift from Heaven.
At the end of all of my reactions to my struggles, I am exhausted and helpless.
And through all of this, God keeps saying “I’m here, I’m always here, I promise you I’m taking care of it.”
I believe Him, but I want solutions now.
But the solutions I seek, I soon find out, don’t involve my problems.
They involve my attitude about my problems.

I am not beautiful inside and out. But I want to be.
I want to be the kind of person who can face life and all of its chaos with love, courage, and wisdom.
I want to be grateful every single second of every single day – for the good, the bad, and everything in between
Because I am blessed beyond measure – I am the daughter of the King.


Missing my best friend(s)

Life has scattered us around this big ol’ sunny state.

But my happiness lies in knowing that our friendship is not a function of physical distance and constant communication. Our friendship is strong because we have too many memories holding us like superglue, too many laughs that still warm our hearts, and too many shared sorrows that have united us in facing life and all of its surprises…

Our hearts will always have room for eachother.

Is this cheesy? Perhaps. But I can’t help being thankful for being blessed with such amazing friends.


Empty Words.

Empty words cannot fix a broken heart.
Empty words cannot end an argument or misunderstanding.
Empty words cannot change the world.
Empty words do not give hope.

Sometimes we talk just for the sake of talking. We just say anything and everything – things we mean and things we don’t. We all love to talk, especially if someone is listening.

What comes to mind is uttering phrases, words, and sentences that we really don’t mean. We use these words not because we want to say them, but because we are being mannered and nice. They aren’t exactly lies, but we’re not exactly telling the truth either. Mere emptiness. These words are of no value, yet we let them escape into the air, and stay there forever.

Why?

Everyone wants to be polite. So we say things like “Thank you” at the cash register even though the individual’s customer service was absolutely horrible. We smile a toothy smile and run out, muttering under our breath about never returning.
Now I’m not saying we should yell or anything, because we should always control our temper. However, what I’m saying is that our feelings and thoughts should reflect the words that come out of our mouths. Our pretty words should be full of pretty thoughts.
If I say “Thank you” to the rude sales associate, I must, somewhere in my little human heart, find room to be thankful for at least something.

Emptiness is chaos, hatred, anger.
Empty words are lies, hollow promises, false excuses.
Empty words flow from those whose hearts are empty and wish to remain that way.
Empty words are destruction, they are useless.

So today, I am reevaluating my approach at all the bad stuff that happens to me. I am letting it go, I am accepting all of my troubles as challenges. I am filling my heart with hope, and filling my words with meaning, sincere meaning that comes from my heart. And if my thoughts are not kind, I will change them before I let them escape through my lips. If my words are empty, I will fill them with love.


Things that make life worth it.

Things that make me happy. [Part 1]

Love. Just loving people and being loved by people.

– Living. What a blessing.

– Praying to God. I know he always listens, even if my thoughts are a mess and I’m bawling and my words are all jumbled and I make no sense.

– God and his beauty and miracles. Serving God by serving others. It’s the best feeling in the world to do good, make someone smile, help someone in need, and to just be there for another person.

– Autumn weather, autumn air, autumn everything. Rain, lightning, thunder, sunshine, warm boots, warm clothing, jackets, umbrellas, rain boots, scarves, hats, tissues, stepping on crunchy leaves, jumping in puddles, being drenched while walking to/from your car, singing and dancing in the rain, fireplaces and warm blankets and good books and good company, hot tea, yummy deserts, apple pie, peaceful music, that feeling you get when you know your nose is slightly pink because it’s chilly outside, the beauty that is the sky after the rain with the clouds and rays of sunshineAutumn everything.

– Breakfast. Breakfast food in the morning and late at night.

– Eating. I know it’s necessary and blahblahblah. But I just really like good food. I’m more of a European food fanatic. I love good pastries. I love meat. I love fine breads.I love real food. But sometimes I have intense cravings for sushi and chips and cheesburgers.

– Milk. I drink over 4 cups a day.

– Ketchup.

– My family. Even though they’re kind of loud, embarrassing, and drive me nuts at times, they mean everything.

– Best friends. Talks with best friends, hugs with best friends, laughs, smiles, tears. Just being with best friends….and all the “interesting” conversations and adventures.

My boyfriend. I’m not going to brag, but he’s pretty much amazing.

– Smiling. Laughing. Living.

– People who make me laugh.

– Shy people. I like listening to them talk. Not surprisingly, they’re much more interesting than the ones who talk too much.

– Getting in Jerry (my car) and realizing that whichever family member borrowed my car last, filled it up with gas.

– Finding Jerry in a huge parking lot in less than five minutes!

– Writing. It is such a liberating experience.

– Getting mail. As in, letters and postcards and gifts. Definitely not bills and not postcards with photographs of nice beaches that say “Friendly Reminder – It’s that time again to visit your dentist for your annual check up!” Yeah, no thanks doc.

– Sappy love songs when I’m missing that special someone. They just make me miss him a lot more, but they help me sleep. [Learned this on my 5 week vacation]

– Owning designer jeans. Obsession. Enough said.

– Waking up and feeling pretty good about the way I look. This is rare.

– Waking up and actually getting up before the alarm clock goes off.

– Waking up in the afternoon versus before the afternoon.

– I said waking up three times, but that’s not what really makes me happy. It’s more like getting a good night’s sleep.

– Naps are a luxury.

Watching the sunrise and the sunset. But I’d pick watching stars all night over seeing the sunrise or sunset any day.

– Roadtrips. With people who make me happy, of course.

Learning. I love knowing things. I love people who can teach me something.

– Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.

– Being nice to people when I feel angry/irritated/sad/etc. It makes me feel like I’m still capable of being a good person despite my personal issues.

– Making people smile. When people smile in general. I think everyone looks a million times better when they’re happy.

– That AH-HAH moment when you figure something out that has been on your mind for days.

– Google. It helps me avoid asking dumb questions that make people feel uncomfortable explaining. And it makes me feel like I know everything.

– Not sleeping alone.

– Going on adventures. I define adventure as: an unpredictable series of events that occur due to confusion, failed attempts to correct mistakes, boredom, etc. These series of events can result in either trouble, embarrassment, uncontrollable laughter, or minor injury of those both directly and indirectly involved, and of inanimate objects where applicable.