Tag Archives: words

11142012 – Promises

I hear, see, observe the same thing.

On girls who are in love, in clouds.

On girls whose boys are not serious, too young.

On girls who have been in one relationship, for one month, for one moment.

Promise rings. 

Useless. 

To cure the disease that is doubt, perhaps.

Meaningless.

Promises, like legal contracts, are only necessary when they are broken. 

Advertisements

Lesson Learned

Forcing a Friendship is worse than Letting It Go.
My mother always said to be nice, but being nice is easier than being a friend.
And maybe not being friends will make it possible for me to be nicer.
I have finally realized that you are not worth it – not my time, not my happiness.  


Even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions.

 
“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

For the longest time, I wanted someone to feel this way about me.
I feel kind of awkward admitting I still really want to be loved for these reasons.
But aren’t these words absolutely beautiful?


Promises

You said “I will”
You said “I promise”
You said you’d try your best.

And as those words came through your lips,
I smiled a sad smile –
I knew how rarely promises were kept,
I knew I didn’t like them for that reason.

And these promises weren’t even about big, important things.
They were little, ordinary assurances
You broke them and honey I believe in signs –
No, I’m not angry, but my trust in your words has sunk a little further.

Perhaps this is me overreacting.
Perhaps you are incapable of keeping your word.
Promises, promises, promises –
Please don’t make them, and save everyone the hurt.

02262012


Reflection: Needing Others

What I believed until about five minutes ago:
Nobody needs anybody else. I mean, sure, we like having certain people in our lives and cannot imagine our worlds without them. But we can and will survive without their presence, and they will and can survive without ours. It’s depressing and we don’t like acknowledging that our relationships are not necessary, lasting, irreplaceable. We get used to people. Their presence in our memories makes them appear to be essential characters in the story we call Life. Without the characters and their interactions with ourselves – we cease to believe in the existence of the story, and in the lonesome state, we discard the value associated with our own character. Regardless, we live and breathe on. The innate desire to live ignites our fallen spirits, and we find happiness in other places. We build new relationships, and once again – we believe we need them. Perhaps it’s difficult to admit that we are creatures forever solitary, and thus, we attempt to forge needs – and with them comes an irrational dependence on mortal relationships.

What I believe now:
Needs are those things which are required for our well-being. Needs are not necessarily only the substances and conditions we need to simply survive, but also conditions under which we have the ability to thrive. When one is in “need” – one requires some sort of relief. Therefore, needs are not clearly defined. So do we need certain people? Yes. We need their love, compassion, their friendship. We need their perfections and flaws, we need their criticism, thoughts, support, and presence in our lives. We know we need them when they are not present – we feel it, we hate it, we ache for their love. Although life goes on, regardless of their whereabouts, we know something is not right when they are gone. Just because we learn to live without them, doesn’t mean we don’t need them. As much as we tell ourselves that we can be completely independent, I don’t think we ever actually believe ourselves. Life is this unifying experience – we’re all new to it, we don’t really know what we’re doing, and we don’t really know where we’re going. We’re in it together and we need each other, because even though happiness is a personal endeavor, it’s easier to find when surrounded by those who have become indispensable to our worlds.


Empty Words.

Empty words cannot fix a broken heart.
Empty words cannot end an argument or misunderstanding.
Empty words cannot change the world.
Empty words do not give hope.

Sometimes we talk just for the sake of talking. We just say anything and everything – things we mean and things we don’t. We all love to talk, especially if someone is listening.

What comes to mind is uttering phrases, words, and sentences that we really don’t mean. We use these words not because we want to say them, but because we are being mannered and nice. They aren’t exactly lies, but we’re not exactly telling the truth either. Mere emptiness. These words are of no value, yet we let them escape into the air, and stay there forever.

Why?

Everyone wants to be polite. So we say things like “Thank you” at the cash register even though the individual’s customer service was absolutely horrible. We smile a toothy smile and run out, muttering under our breath about never returning.
Now I’m not saying we should yell or anything, because we should always control our temper. However, what I’m saying is that our feelings and thoughts should reflect the words that come out of our mouths. Our pretty words should be full of pretty thoughts.
If I say “Thank you” to the rude sales associate, I must, somewhere in my little human heart, find room to be thankful for at least something.

Emptiness is chaos, hatred, anger.
Empty words are lies, hollow promises, false excuses.
Empty words flow from those whose hearts are empty and wish to remain that way.
Empty words are destruction, they are useless.

So today, I am reevaluating my approach at all the bad stuff that happens to me. I am letting it go, I am accepting all of my troubles as challenges. I am filling my heart with hope, and filling my words with meaning, sincere meaning that comes from my heart. And if my thoughts are not kind, I will change them before I let them escape through my lips. If my words are empty, I will fill them with love.


An observation. (#1)

He holds his fists together tight,
Anger (or desperation) tightens his face
Erases his laughing lines, tightens his lips together
Forces his eyes to open wide with frustration
At a loss for words.

Closing his eyes, he exhales deeply
But nothing happens, the world spins
Same place, same quiet night, same situation.

He is still thinking, analyzing, searching for words
But nothing can make anything better
If they don’t understand now, they never will.
Words do not come, but he cannot quit

Not now, not like this…but how?

And the world keeps spinning, time keeps running,
Life keeps coming
In waves – whether he’s ready or not.
He remains at a loss for words, at a loss for thoughts,
But he has found something he never dreamed of searching for.

Himself.