Your own goals at your own pace.

I’m sitting in a campus café, overhearing conversations about classes, jobs, internships, etc.
I’m feeling inferior – I am definitely not taking as many classes, not applying to excessively time demanding positions, not doing as much. Period.

But then I step back and drown out the noise.
I have to stop and remind myself:

Grade point averages don’t define my worth (sometimes I wish they did)
The number of classes I am tackling this semester does not define my intelligence.

We all have different talents, work habits, interests.
We all have different plans, world-views, strategies.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone around us –
We need to be the best we can be;
We need to give everything we do a hundred percent,

Success is the reward for effort and perseverance,

Achieve your own goals at your own pace – you’ll be surprised at what you’re capable of.

Listen to your mind, body, heart:  Only you know what’s best for you.

 04102012

Thoughts on Forgiveness.

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” – Confucius 

I came across this quote on Tumblr – a website I love, but one that has never encouraged me to write. I sat alone in my cold, dark room thinking about forgiveness and revenge. I have always been a proponent of forgiving, learning, and moving on. But this idea of “revenge” has always sparked some curiosity in my being. Growing up, I was always told to not seek revenge, because it leads to a cycle of injury and retaliation. Nonetheless, a little voice in my head still occasionally screams “Get him back! You can do this and this and this….They’ll know exactly how you feel. Ohh, you can teach them!” Does this make me a bad person? I don’t think so. We’re only human. But there’s a reason that society and most religions teach forgiveness – because it is what we need to live with ourselves and others in a world that is constantly pushing us to our limits.

Revenge is not a solution. It doesn’t make anybody feel good in the long run. It fractures friendships, breaks hearts, and paves the way to feelings of guilt, depression, and pain. Revenge is a symbol of the lack of self-control, and it arises out of our inability to accept the fact that everybody makes mistakes.

“To err is human, to forgive – divine.”  – Alexander Pope

So I encourage you, dear reader, to forgive. Not to pretend that nothing is wrong, not to hug the person that has hurt you, not to forget. I encourage you to forgive – because that’s the only way to save yourself from being hurt by the same betrayal more than once. Forgiveness is the only way to move on – with peace, serenity, and self-confidence. Forgiveness is the only way out of painful thoughts and situations – it frees your mind and stitches up the tears within your heart. Forgiveness provides us with the ability to think clearly – to make rational choices about what comes next.

“Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved.”  ~ C.S. Lewis

Being Thankful for the Good, the Bad, and Everything in Between.

I am thankful.

My life thus far has not been perfect, but it has been beautiful.

I have been hurt by those dearest to me, I have been lied to by those whom I trusted with my life, I have been betrayed by those who swore to be there for me even if the world came crashing down.
I have been hurt.

I lost my hero to cancer, I lost a cousin to bad choices,
I lost a piece of my heart when they left this earth.
I have lost.

I believed that my best was not good enough, I have felt like an absolute failure, I have failed, I broke a heart, I made choices I later regretted.
I have cried.

But through the hurt, the loss, the tears I was given strength, wisdom, and a second chance (sometimes a third, a fourth, and so on…)
I learned that the fabric of trust is something that can be stitched together- and sometimes, the stitching  holds it together better than before it was torn.
But stitching it up – that’s work, patience, forgiveness, and humility.
I learned to value and love people when they are present, because people’s presence is more temporary than we want to believe.
I have learned to believe in myself, because God believes in me. He made me the way I am for a purpose, and my constant self-criticism was actually dishonoring Him.
I learned to be honest with myself and others – I learned to acknowledge my flaws, and battle them with prayer, support, and a positive attitude.

I am thankful – that God teaches me valuable life lessons through difficult situations.
He opens my eyes to the world as it is, rather than to the world I perceive it to be in my sheltered, every day life.
I am thankful, because I have been blessed beyond measure – with everything I could possibly need and so much more.
I have been blessed with a beautiful family and friends, who support me always – financially, spiritually, and mentally, whether I need the support or not.
I am grateful to a God who gives me wisdom when I ask for it and even when I don’t, who guides me in times of struggle, who offers me comfort in times of despair, who loves me – always.

By no means am I suggesting that I am always this grateful. I sometimes scream into my pillow out of frustration. I go on long runs when I am confused. I yell when I am angry. I say hurtful things to those who love me so very much when I am disappointed.
But all of this wears out my body and my soul – it makes me lose sleep, my appetite, and my enthusiasm to live every day as if it were a gift from Heaven.
At the end of all of my reactions to my struggles, I am exhausted and helpless.
And through all of this, God keeps saying “I’m here, I’m always here, I promise you I’m taking care of it.”
I believe Him, but I want solutions now.
But the solutions I seek, I soon find out, don’t involve my problems.
They involve my attitude about my problems.

I am not beautiful inside and out. But I want to be.
I want to be the kind of person who can face life and all of its chaos with love, courage, and wisdom.
I want to be grateful every single second of every single day – for the good, the bad, and everything in between
Because I am blessed beyond measure – I am the daughter of the King.