It’s been so long. It’s been too long.
I feel that words have been calling me, pulling me in, begging me to Let Them Be.
I mute them. I go on living. I attempt to have actual conversations with actual people.
I try to hide my journal and forget the passwords to my blogs.
I’ve been living in the Real World,
But my Real World Thoughts were undeveloped, unexpressed, and uninteresting to those I shared them with.
So I let these thoughts dance around in my mind before I went to sleep, while I doodled in my lecture hall, while I drove my car.
And this made me feel crazy. In my very real world, where I could not escape to the internet, I didn’t feel like I was fully engaged in my life. I was disinterested in the things happening around me. I was not impressed by all the things that should have impressed me. I was moody. I wanted to talk and listen to others talk about things that are probably not important, but so intriguing nonetheless.
I’m back to my internet community. I enjoy all the email correspondences, comments, feedback, and everything else from my followers and others who stop by to read what I write. It’s a shame that we’re scattered around the globe and cannot meet for coffee and deep talks.
I like my friends. They don’t have to physically be there for me every second of every day, but I know they are always a phone call away. I know they love me, despite the distance and time between us. I know I have not been forgotten and I know I will never forget them, because they put so much sunshine into my life. Throughout the years and all of our fears, mistakes, and disagreements, we stick together because we know that every second is a blessing, a learning experience, a test of our strength. When reunited, it feels like the stars are all lined up, the world is full of rainbows and butterflies, and life appears bigger and full of endless possibilities. This is perhaps the most corny thing I have ever written, but it’s true. It’s how I feel. It’s how I hope they feel. Everything just feels right, even if everything is totally wrong and chaos surrounds us.
I liked them because they do not seek to be the center of attention. They are not selfish I like them because they listen, laugh, and love more than they talk, complain, and hate. We always have the most fun, even when doing nothing. I like them because we have similar values. We make it a point to be bluntly honest with each other, because we know the value of truth and correction. They usually use their common sense, they know their self-worth, their lives do not revolve around other’s opinions of them.
I like my friends. We don’t put labels on our friendships, we just let them be. We know they are special, and although we do not have time in our every day life to communicate, we value them all the same.
I love my best friends. Why? Because their friendship is unconditional.
Beauty shines in darkness,
Its kindness permeates sadness,
Its few, encouraging words in moments of pain make room for healing.
Its humbleness is a breath of fresh air in the competitive, bustling world.
Beauty’s simplicity is self-evident, and its value is beyond words or numbers.
Beautiful people are those whose hearts are worth more than gold, because they are inclusive, kind, loving, and do not succumb to the selfishness our world preaches.
Most of all, beautiful people rarely think of themselves this way.
So I encourage you, to tell that friend/stranger/classmate/family member that just radiates inward beauty that the world is a better place because of who they are.
Value them. They are more rare than one may think.
Freedom isn’t about being reckless or heartless.
Freedom is letting go of everything that weighs heavy on your soul.
Freedom is opening your eyes to new experiences and ways of knowing.
Freedom is about not allowing failure or struggle to discourage you.
Freedom is being comfortable with your own thoughts, with your actions, with you.
Freedom is the ability to find happiness in a broken world.
Lake Tahoe after the sunrise.
I’m sitting in a campus café, overhearing conversations about classes, jobs, internships, etc.
I’m feeling inferior – I am definitely not taking as many classes, not applying to excessively time demanding positions, not doing as much. Period.
But then I step back and drown out the noise.
I have to stop and remind myself:
Grade point averages don’t define my worth (sometimes I wish they did)
The number of classes I am tackling this semester does not define my intelligence.
We all have different talents, work habits, interests.
We all have different plans, world-views, strategies.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone around us –
We need to be the best we can be;
We need to give everything we do a hundred percent,
Success is the reward for effort and perseverance,
Achieve your own goals at your own pace – you’ll be surprised at what you’re capable of.
Listen to your mind, body, heart: Only you know what’s best for you.
“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
For the longest time, I wanted someone to feel this way about me.
I feel kind of awkward admitting I still really want to be loved for these reasons.
But aren’t these words absolutely beautiful?