Tag Archives: sleep

11142012 – Promises

I hear, see, observe the same thing.

On girls who are in love, in clouds.

On girls whose boys are not serious, too young.

On girls who have been in one relationship, for one month, for one moment.

Promise rings. 

Useless. 

To cure the disease that is doubt, perhaps.

Meaningless.

Promises, like legal contracts, are only necessary when they are broken. 

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Words Behind Bars

There is so much to say,
But so little silence.
So many thoughts –
But sleep creeps in, and then they are lost
Lost, lost, lost forever in dreamland.

Every confusion, every mistake –
Speaks and never ceases to attack
The helpless mind, that has no alternative but to call it a day,
Admits defeat, but refuses to quit trying…
Tomorrow, tomorrow:  thoughts will be free.

But there is no time to let one’s mind wander.
And there is so little courage to grant freedom to words.
Everyday, tedious tasks occupy ninety-nine percent of our thinking faculties,
Everyday, our own judgmental inclinations seal our lips and freeze our tongues-
Yet we continue to justify our silence to ourselves,  claiming it arises out of fear of criticism from others.

Thus, words remain behind bars.
Thoughts remain in compartments in our hearts.
They are factors in our decision-making processes, our value judgments, our emotions.
They define our perception of the world, yet they are buried, hidden, obscure, personal.
They define our relationships with others, ourselves, our surroundings.
So powerful, so secret, but yet so universal.


Raindrops.

Splitter, splatter, the rain outside beats.

Tap, tip, it’s knocking.

No stopping, no light, just drops falling

Towards the muddy ground.

Tick tock, the clock is ticking

Sleep soon, wake soon.

Pounding, beating heart

Tells otherwise, feels pain.

Clenching like a fist,

Fear spreads throughout the body.

Burning, achy

Not breaking.

Love, love, love –

So much more love to give.


Things that make life worth it.

Things that make me happy. [Part 1]

Love. Just loving people and being loved by people.

– Living. What a blessing.

– Praying to God. I know he always listens, even if my thoughts are a mess and I’m bawling and my words are all jumbled and I make no sense.

– God and his beauty and miracles. Serving God by serving others. It’s the best feeling in the world to do good, make someone smile, help someone in need, and to just be there for another person.

– Autumn weather, autumn air, autumn everything. Rain, lightning, thunder, sunshine, warm boots, warm clothing, jackets, umbrellas, rain boots, scarves, hats, tissues, stepping on crunchy leaves, jumping in puddles, being drenched while walking to/from your car, singing and dancing in the rain, fireplaces and warm blankets and good books and good company, hot tea, yummy deserts, apple pie, peaceful music, that feeling you get when you know your nose is slightly pink because it’s chilly outside, the beauty that is the sky after the rain with the clouds and rays of sunshineAutumn everything.

– Breakfast. Breakfast food in the morning and late at night.

– Eating. I know it’s necessary and blahblahblah. But I just really like good food. I’m more of a European food fanatic. I love good pastries. I love meat. I love fine breads.I love real food. But sometimes I have intense cravings for sushi and chips and cheesburgers.

– Milk. I drink over 4 cups a day.

– Ketchup.

– My family. Even though they’re kind of loud, embarrassing, and drive me nuts at times, they mean everything.

– Best friends. Talks with best friends, hugs with best friends, laughs, smiles, tears. Just being with best friends….and all the “interesting” conversations and adventures.

My boyfriend. I’m not going to brag, but he’s pretty much amazing.

– Smiling. Laughing. Living.

– People who make me laugh.

– Shy people. I like listening to them talk. Not surprisingly, they’re much more interesting than the ones who talk too much.

– Getting in Jerry (my car) and realizing that whichever family member borrowed my car last, filled it up with gas.

– Finding Jerry in a huge parking lot in less than five minutes!

– Writing. It is such a liberating experience.

– Getting mail. As in, letters and postcards and gifts. Definitely not bills and not postcards with photographs of nice beaches that say “Friendly Reminder – It’s that time again to visit your dentist for your annual check up!” Yeah, no thanks doc.

– Sappy love songs when I’m missing that special someone. They just make me miss him a lot more, but they help me sleep. [Learned this on my 5 week vacation]

– Owning designer jeans. Obsession. Enough said.

– Waking up and feeling pretty good about the way I look. This is rare.

– Waking up and actually getting up before the alarm clock goes off.

– Waking up in the afternoon versus before the afternoon.

– I said waking up three times, but that’s not what really makes me happy. It’s more like getting a good night’s sleep.

– Naps are a luxury.

Watching the sunrise and the sunset. But I’d pick watching stars all night over seeing the sunrise or sunset any day.

– Roadtrips. With people who make me happy, of course.

Learning. I love knowing things. I love people who can teach me something.

– Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.

– Being nice to people when I feel angry/irritated/sad/etc. It makes me feel like I’m still capable of being a good person despite my personal issues.

– Making people smile. When people smile in general. I think everyone looks a million times better when they’re happy.

– That AH-HAH moment when you figure something out that has been on your mind for days.

– Google. It helps me avoid asking dumb questions that make people feel uncomfortable explaining. And it makes me feel like I know everything.

– Not sleeping alone.

– Going on adventures. I define adventure as: an unpredictable series of events that occur due to confusion, failed attempts to correct mistakes, boredom, etc. These series of events can result in either trouble, embarrassment, uncontrollable laughter, or minor injury of those both directly and indirectly involved, and of inanimate objects where applicable.